dear friends with babies

When does the "baby crying all the time when it's awake" thing end? With Story, we're getting little ten minute- half hour bursts of inquisitive, cute baby, then hours of crying or hours of sleep. I'm just wondering for my own sanity, as we are in constant crying/sleeping land.

Thanks for any input :)

feeling not so cute

During pregnancy, the weight you gain and the way your body changes is something seen as joyous, blossoming and beautiful. Your round, growing belly is a symbol of ripeness and new life. All the weight change and body morphing is a good thing.

What they don't tell you is that once you have given birth, you don't look un-pregnant. Your belly isn't flat, for the most part, and you aren't magically pre-pregnant looking. A lot of jokes and fun are made of how you'll "lose 20 lbs in the least amount of time ever, just by giving birth," but the truth is very, very different.

I'm struggling a lot with this transition body I have right now. Yes, it's been less than a week and I know, in my rational mind, that it's not reasonable to think I'd be closer to my pre-pregnant shape. But honestly, I had no clue I'd look five months pregnant after giving birth. My belly is going down little by little, but I still have a bit of a swell to it. My ankles and legs are still a bit swollen and I have stretch marks and a bit of loose skin at the bottom of my stomach. I look at myself in the mirror and don't see the hot, awesome mommy bod, but this odd, misshapen form that doesn't know what it wants to be yet, caught between a pregnancy form and my old, curvy self.

Clothes still don't fit right and, due to my c-section incision, I can't actually wear a lot of my maternity pants and skirts because they rub up on it. So, I'm relegated to the same four pairs of pants to alternate with my nursing tanks, all of which make me feel like a frumpy house-frau. I constantly feel like nothing fits and that I am stuck in the same boring clothes all the time. It sucks.

Now, the truth of this whole matter is that I will shrink back and be closer to my original self in time. The real deal is that I had a baby and a c-section, both of which are fairly dramatic and traumatic things to happen to my body and it will take more than a week to adjust to it. And the reasonable approach to this would be to be easy on myself and not get so frustrated with feeling like an unattractive, lumpy frump.

But I have to say that, though I know what makes sense in my mind, it's hard to reconcile right now. Especially when you see all these Hollywood moms who have a baby and are smokin' hot within weeks after. And I think that it's hard as a woman not to find yourself comparing yourself to those images of "perfect" women who go from round pregnancy body to hardbody in the blink of an eye.

I'm lucky that I have a hubby who adores me and thinks I'm beautiful no matter what. I wish I could have some of that confidence right now. But I'll admit that I'm finding myself in a state of "whose body IS this!" right now. I kind of want to just curl up and hide from the world.

Yes, in the end it's still worth it. I still look at Story every day and know that her awesomeness outshines any body issues I'm experiencing. But that doesn't make it tough to just want my old pre-baby body back, or something close to it.

OMG baby carriers

Last night, Tim discovered that there are two things that Story loves.

*Rap Music
*Being carried around while daddy does chores.

The only problem was that daddy was having a helluva time balancing all of his chores and carrying her around. Whenever he'd put her down to go do something he needed both hands for, she'd start wailing all over again. If only there were SOME amazing invention that allowed him to carry her while doing the chores...

Tim mentioned to me that we should make sure we get a sling carrier of some sort and I was like, "UM we were given a baby bjorn type carrier from Chris and Val forever ago!" And he was like, "really? I don't remember that.." Well, just a few moments ago, Tim found it and is currently lugging Story around the house while doing some fun chores- moving dream dinners from the chest freezer into the fridge, working on laundry and who knows what else. There is no extreme wailing, no horrid crying. Sure, Story goes through phases of crying/deciding whether she likes the carrier, but nothing compared to last night.

Ok, seriously... who would have known that something so simple as a knock of baby bjorn could bring so much sanity to our little family? Damn I love this thing.

I can't wait until I'm healed enough to try it out! Oh man, just going on walks around the neighborhood would be awesome!

Other blogs... and FLICKR!

Hello You Crazy Kids-

I wanted to point out that I have finally added links to my other blogs in the left sidebar. I've been bad and never linked all of my blogs together, so I figure it's time I did. So, if you're interested in non-baby posts or dance thoughts, you can find them over on the side.

And it's finally happened... we have started to post waves of disgustingly cute baby photos to Flickr.

Back to play our favorite game...

Why Is The Baby Crying?

:)

Nursing is tough stuff

Nursing is really hard, or at least for me it is. I'm finding that it's so tough to make it work, especially b/c I have very limited positions right now due to my c-section incision. I can't sit upright extremely well, so the normal cross-body hold is tough to maneuver. But, like Tim Gunn says, I'm "making it work" any way I can.

Did you know that during the first few days of work, you're aiming to have your baby feed 8-12 times a day? That's a lot! We only got six yesterday, but I think we're going to hit the mark today. Already she's hit four feedings since midnight, so we're doing better!

And the nurse taught us the BEST trick ever!!! She gave us a syringe of sugar water that I use to drop on me and in Story's mouth while feeding. This is helping her to latch much better than before (she was oddly motor-boating it and just not fully getting it down every time. This caused her to start wailing like bloody murder!) We've found this to be a great tool to get her to latch and she's already starting to get it without the syringe now. YAY for women's wisdom!

And I made more progress in the last hour- I was able to walk down the hall to the "kitchen" and refill my own water/ice. It doesn't seem like much, but it was a huge triumph for me. I've barely been able to walk around our room, so it was great to get down the hall! And I'm wearing more "normal" clothes, like a nursing tank and a pair of palazzo pants, so I'm feeling more like myself every moment.

Though it's so weird to see how I look five months preggo, still. It's gonna take a while for the belly to settle down a bit again, I know that. But I have to admit it makes me feel porky and unattractive. Thank goodness for hubby who tells me I'm pretty all the time :)

too precious

Story LOVES her daddy's snoring. She's on his chest right now, awake and totally fascinated by him. Every time he snores, she touches and strokes his beard in appreciation.

:)

about the buddha

The doctors LIE my friends, they LIE!

Though by no means small, our Story was not the 9lbs predicted! Story was a "mere" 7lbs 15 ounces at birth! We think they overestimated b/c they were feeling her big butt down near my cervix and were mistaking it for a head, causing them to misinterpret her weight.

So there ya go!

The story of Story

Story Brooke Pumplin was born on Thursday, October 23rd, 2008 in a set of bizarre and zany circumstances. Could you expect anything less from our girl? Here's the, ahem, story...

I woke up at 5:45 ish on Thursday morning with false labor contractions. I didn't know they were false at the time, but when they continued to be erratic and didn't intensify, I figured they were bunk. Tim said to me, "I know this is going to come back to kick me in the ass, but I don't think these are the real deal. She isn't coming today."

This is the point in which it is important to note that you should never NEVER engage yourself in a battle of wits against me. I will seriously win every time. I looked at him and said, "oh no. No she's coming out TODAY."

So, Tim left for work and I decided to stay home and wait things out. My contractions felt really hard and all, but all of a sudden petered off. Even though it felt like the time was past and that she was destined to be in there until Monday's ultimate induction eviction, I still was determined in my mind to get her out.

In order to do this, I decided to take a walk up to Starbucks for a hot cocoa. I grabbed my iPod and headed out the door, wrapped in my favorite shawl against the new bite in the air. All along the way, I looked like a crazy person as I talked at my belly, giving Story the pep talk.

"dear Story. You are coming out TODAY, here me. Today. You've had long enough in there and mommy is really ready to meet you. I want you to come into this world safely, but I want you out today. AND if you come out today, well I'll spoil you extra, because it would mean that mommy would beat daddy in a battle of wits, which is very very important." I changed my destination en-route, deciding that going to the library to check out a book for reading while in the hospital was certain to add more weight behind my "this kid is coming today" determination.

When I got home, I began getting very intense contractions that were only about 6 minutes apart. I decided to drink some water and lay down on the couch (for those not preggo/who haven't been there before, a lot of false labor is chalked up to dehydration... so they tell you to drink a lot of water and lie down when you start having contractions.) About forty five minutes later, I feel a swift kick (which puzzled me, b/c it should have been a head-butt... get to that soon) to my cervix and a POP! as my water breaks. I immediately stood up and felt warm gushes of fluid soak my yoga pants. I ran upstairs, started a shower to clean myself up (now certain we were in long-haul city) and called Timmers. I said to him, "my water just broke. GET HERE," and hung up.

I then took one of the longest and hottest showers of my life, scrubbing myself silly and using every frilly, girly potion I could find. I had heard from my friend Casey that she did this and it was a good idea. Because once you go in for a delivery, you're there for at least a day or so without being able to really shower. And I like being clean!

I also went into extremely focused "get stuff done" mode. I packed blankets, pillows, grabbed my amniotic fluid soaked pants in case they wanted to test them in L&D to confirm a rupture and grabbed other essential items I might need that weren't already packed in the car. The intensity and focus was amazing, as I went on auto-pilot prepping for delivery. The only annoying thing were the starving kitties who kept flanking me and meowing at the top of their lungs, usually during contractions. I warned the kitties that pestering a woman having intense contractions was NOT the way to prolong their kitty lives, but they weren't having it. I called Tim again to say, "where are you. I can't find the extra cat food. I am going to KILL these cats if you don't get here soon, Ow OW OWWW!"

Then Tim got home and we rushed out to Labor and Delivery, calling the doctor on call as well as my mom/sister on the way. I told Tim to call his parents, but we totally got wrapped in the moment and didn't call them until Story was here. SIGH. Anyways, back to it, we arrived at L&D to find my friend Miss Helen working the desk. Oddly enough, her first words to me were, "did you get my email, honey?" (I was redesigning the birth certificates for her, LOL) I told her I was in labor, then continuted to have an intense contraction at the desk and they took me to check my rupture. This means taking a litmas swap and using it on your wet panties, very very classy. It came up blue, meaning I was a rupture, so they prepped a room for me. I then had another really crazy contraction right as a tour full of expectant parents rolled through. I'd be lying if I said I didn't LOVE looking at their horror-filled faces as I yelled/OMed in pain.

Then we got put in our room and met up with Nisleen, our doula. I stripped down and put on my gown, getting ready for delivery. They called in my doc to have her do a pelvic exam and we all settled into what we were sure would be hours of long labor/delivery. Then, the doc comes in to check my cervix for progress and says,"hmm... that doesn't feel right. I need to do an ultrasound on you." She comes back and lo and behold, our girl is breech. She then says,"I'm suggesting you have a C Section." In a split second I agreed, because I couldn't dream of putting Story in harm. Thus started the cokctail of drugs to stop my contractions, pain meds to help me wait for an OR to open up and everything feeling like it was whirring past me, out of control.

I know it's cheesy as hell, but all I could think of was yoga, the yoke, the way. Sometimes you have to just surrender yourself to the way and go where it takes you, without question. My mind just said, "this is how it's going to be done and you're gonna be fine. Just let go." So I did.

I went from having a natural childbirth to a C-Section with a spinal block. I was taken to the OR, tim in scrubs, and given a spinal block that made me numb from the chest down. I was laid back Jesus-style and strapped down at three points- across my legs and each arm. A sheet was pulled up so I couldn't see the procedure, though I was wide awake. The awesome staff played Motown music and I cracked jokes about the whole situation- "If you guys are gonna have this sheet up, shouldn't you put on a puppet show or SOMETHING???!" I went from what I felt would be an intimate, serene setting birth to a whole team operating to get the daughterling out safely. It was odd, but it's just the way it had to be.

So, what IS it like to have a baby cut out of you? Fascinating, frightening and funny. I could feel all this pulling and pressure as they cut into my fat layer, spread aside my abdominals (yes I could feel that act via pressure) and then cut into my uterus. I could literally feel them shimmy her out of the womb, even the POP sensation as the got her unstuck from up under my ribs. I could feel the shuffling as they put me back together. It was so odd.

One other odd thing I should mention is that I had a case of ventricular tachycardia after I saw Story for the first time. It was really freaky at the time and made me feel all sorts of scary. The anesthesiologist gave me some drugs that counteracted it and all ended well. I've since had a battery of vascualr tests, all of which have come out just fine. They think this was a one time, random incident, probably brought on by the stress of the situation. But it was WAY scary.

Well, the rest is history, as they say. They pulled her out, tim got to go while they cleaned her up and did her Apgar tests and, after my weird cross with a potentially fatal case of ventricular tachycardia, I was brought to recovery with Tim and Story. One weird fact- most women shake for a while after pregnancy on account of the stress of the situation. My body temp was down to 95.5, I shook like crazy and I was all sorts of out of it. They gave me some demerol to stop the shaking and finally I started to feel a little more human.

Since then, I have gone through lots of pain, moments of decreased dignity, feeling defeated and terrible as a parent b/c I'm so limited in what I can do b/c of the C Section and worrying about my heart scare. But in the past day I've gotten a lot more comfy and have been told that my heart tests came back fine, so hopefully all is well from here on out as far as things go.

I have to take one moment to shout out how wonderful Tim is as a parent. Beyond wonderful, astounding. He has this amazing way with Story and is such a good soother. Also, he has fearlessly stepped up and taken on all of the major baby tasks I can't help him with yet due to my c section- he changes her dirty diapers, burps her, walks her around, swaddles her. He's just fabulous. Little by little I can do more and more, but I'm so glad to have married the best person ever. Good job, me.

And as for Story, she is the greatest and best thing I and Tim have ever done together. She is beautiful, funny, surprising, thoughtful, affectionate and joyful. She is just too amazing to believe. She is more than I ever thought I could hope for and just too WOW to put into words.

Ok, I have to go now as I tire of being separated from her. BYES! Updates later.

omg

water broke about 1/2 hour ago. Off to L&D we go!

damn contractions HURT!

Induction Scheduled!

Well kids, the daughterling will be here, come hell or high water, by Monday. I just got off the phone with the surgical scheduler at my hospital and they're going to induce me on Monday at 5:30 a.m. if the daughterling isn't here by then. I'm still hoping she comes of her own volition, but I'd much rather induce her Monday and get my doc (the one that delivered me into this world) than wait until later on in the week and get some other doctor I may not even know. Also, I'm hoping to avoid a C-section by inducing her while she's just around 9lbs than waiting until she's even bigger and risking it down the road.

This has been hard for me, as I really wanted to have a nautral/non intervention birth. But you know, I'm coming to peace with it. I really think it's what's best for her, to get her into this world safely, so I gotta do it.

BUT HOPEFULLY I will walk her out before then! Send me good vibes!

d'oh...

Well, it looks like my contractions petered out. I'm still getting one here and there, but nothing to write home about. They've lost their regularity, so I'm not in active labor.

BLECH :(

I'm still hanging around the house just in case. I figure that if I go an hour or more without a single contraction, then I'll head back in to work.

La is coming over for lunch in a minute, then I'm going on a walk to see if I can walk her out. The one neat thing is that she's definitely descended due to this morning's fun. I can feel her sitting much lower in my pelvis.

I'll keep everyone posted if things pick up again.

don't freak out.. but maybe...

I've been having contractions since about 5:45 am, 8-10 minutes apart, about 45 sec-1 minute in length. These could just be false labor, since they're not at 5 min apart for an hour yet. But MAN I hope this is it.

I had a talk with the daughterling last night and told her we need to be done with this... so maybe she is listening, who knows?

Anyways, it could be nothing and probably is since I had barely any progress yesterday... but cross your fingers for me!

BIG buddha baby, please come out

Dear Daughterling-

I just came back from the doctor and he says you're currently around 9lbs.

OK, let's be honest here. I know this is because while other gals were getting sick all the time and barely eating a thing, you and I seemed to be able to load up on all the food we could find. While those wussy babies were barely gaining any bulk and keeping their trim physique, you and I were delighting in fatty foods, cheeseburgers, fruit galore, ice cream and protein smoothies. Because we're not chumps and we're not quitters. You and I know a thing or two about being strong, awesome gals.

But maybe we overdid it?

I mean 9lbs. WHOA.

Please come out soon,

Your Mom

---------------------

So, the baby update is as follows:

I will be getting a call in the next two days from my doc's office to schedule an induction. Because she is so huge, they will not allow me to go past 41 weeks. Honestly, I'm fine with that. I don't want to go on much longer, myself. It's getting to be really hard and painful to get around, so I'm fine with getting her out. SURE I didn't want to be induced, but I trust my doctors when they tell me she's huge. She FEELS so weighty. And the doc was adamant about how inducing me was better than letting me go to 42 weeks and needing a C-section. That I agree with as well.

So, within the next week, I will definitely have my baby. I'll let you all know when I find out the induction day! I'm still hoping she comes naturally, but we'll see!

3 Days to due date... meh

I am so very tired. It feels like I just couldn't expand any more and that the daughterling is soooo huge, she just needs to come out. I am all sorts of exhausted as sleep is pretty much doing nothing for me (I'm still lucky enough to get like 6 hours most nights, but I wake up so many times in between that it's more like an hour or two here and there at a go.)

Everyone at work who sees me keeps joking that I have that "so ready to go" look on my face. It's totally true. I have my doc appointment today and I'm just praying that they say I'm on my way to being done. I'm not down with induction or anything, unless they tell me the baby is somehow in jeopardy/needs to come out... but MAN it would be like Christmas if the doc was like, "you're about ready to have this baby in a few days." Sigh... oh please oh please oh please.

For the time being, I just need to focus on work and trying to be as productive as I can. It's really hard not to check out/want to fall asleep in my office.

Cross your fingers for me! New update after doc's appointment.

what DO contractions feel like?

If there's anything I've learned in this crazy thing called pregnancy, it's that our society has a huge expectation that women are "natural" mothers. By this I mean that we're expected to just know what all of pregnancy is like. There's no in-depth explanation guides, no dictionary-of-pregnancy per se or collective knowledge base. There is nothing scientific, no easy-answer font of wisdom where we can go to get clear cut answers or definitions.

Sure, there are TONS of books, online pregnancy sites and a million different "methods" that they try to market to us. But what I find over and over again is that none of these things are willing to give a definitive answer to anything. Instead, I find myself with scores of other women online trying to find collective answers, timidly asking about things we feel ashamed we don't know about.

What are contractions like? How do you know if you're having them?

What's the difference between effacement and dilation? Do they even mean anything in terms of labor?

How do you detect a decrease in fetal movement? What are kick counts? Should I do them?

What does it feel like when the baby "drops?"

The fact of the matter is that pregnancy is so bizarre, unpredictable and different for everyone. And I think that this randomness should be openly shared with women. We should all know that pregnancy, labor and its features are not something every woman should be expected to know every little facet of by instinct alone. And honestly, no book or guide will fully educate or prepare you. It's a complicated and interesting process that can be just as chaotic as it is scientific. I get really annoyed thinking of all of the books and gimmick "methods" out there that prey upon our fears of sucking as mothers, of doing something "wrong" to make money.

So, I've decided to share my knowledge for whatever that's worth over the next week. It may not apply for any of my friends that have had babies or are going to in the future, but it's free! And maybe through my experience, friends that come after me will be a bit less confused than I've been.

First up is contractions. I've heard a bunch of different descriptions of contractions, with everything from them being crazy, intense and awful to women who don't even realize they're having real ones until it's nearly go time for delivery. For me, I've been feeling more intense contractions lately, though I'm not sure if they're "real" ones versus Braxton-Hicks.

Braxton-Hicks for me feel like my belly getting hard and stiff. They don't hurt at all, nor do I notice them most of the time. They just seem to happen and have no rhythm, rhyme or reason to them. They feel like a balloon being fully inflated- they still have a tiny bit of give, but are mostly hard.

As for more intense contractions, mine feel like they start with my belly getting hard, then I start to feel discomfort and tightening that spreads from my back all the way to my belly button and ending in my lower abs. They're not really regular or extremely painful yet, just not comfy. And they make me stop what I"m doing and pay attention. I can't really talk or concentrate. I have to breathe til they're done. Then it's on to life as usual.

For friends that have had babies, how does my description compare to yours? I'm really interested to know what it's like for others.

8 days?? REALLY?

There are officially 8 days until my due date. What does that mean? Not much of anything, per se. But it's still surreal. The idea that way back in February when I found out I was pregnant set me hundreds of days out and now they have dwindled down to just about a week before the due date is astounding. So much growth has happened for me. Both Tim and myself have experienced so many awesome things and gone through so many ups and downs... it's just unbelievable. And to know that this is just the start of a whole other person joining our family is so cool, I can't even tell you.

I think I've also gotten a hold of myself nerve wise and it's time to take a healthier approach to the waiting game. I have to focus on what I can do to stay occupied and not let myself fall into anxious/over excitable hermit time. So, for this weekend I plan on going out for dinner with a small group of chums for Tim/My joint birthday and then spending the rest of the weekend doing some knitting and scrapbooking I've been putting off. I'm also going to try to go for a walk around the neighborhood to take in the brisk, beautiful air. Maybe a little basic yoga on the mat in the backyard, too.

I need to make sure I continue spending time with friends and not acting like every day I have to be uber prepared, lest it be THE BIG DAY. The daughterling will come when she's ready and there's no point in me trying to prepare for or control that.

only 1 cm...

Just got back and I'm only at 1cm dilated. The doc says that means he'd put me at "July if this were baseball season." That means that I'm starting to travel towards labor/birth, but it's not like it's about to happen in a few days or so.

He then brought up the dreaded words I didn't want to hear...

At your next appointment, we'll discuss what you want to do if you go past your due date.

Oh man.. oh man... I don't want to go past too much. First of all, I don't want to lose money by leaving work on the 24th, only to have her come a few weeks late. I don't even have enough leave to cover fully the 28 day period between when I leave work and when the maternity disability kicks in, let alone the daughterling possibly coming a few weeks late. It's just so frustrating.

I mean, I understand that babies are gonna come when they're gonna come. But it's getting really hard to be preggo anymore and having the doc bring up me going past due just made me want to cry.

winding down

I'm starting to detach from a lot of things in life, with the impending daughter just a little over a week away (or so, who knows when babies decide to come out.) My mom told me it's major nesting and proof that the daughterling will be here soon. I've always been hokey for folk wisdom, so I'm hoping she's right.

It's already been weeks since I've danced and taken a yoga class, both of which I think were good ideas for me. The physical limitations I'm experiencing at this point are astounding. They're not terrible, but I certainly won't be too sad when this is over. I am having daydreams about the simple things like shirts that fit over my belly, being able to fit into restaurant booths, having a glass of wine, being able to carry the daughter however I choose (not just attached on my front), buying and wearing a pair of cute shoes... let's just say the cuteness has worn off.

On a different note, I'm finding a lot of anxiety mixing in about actually having her here. I'm worried about her getting here safely, I'm worried about sucking at taking care of her, I'm worried about my healing process, I'm worried about childcare. Should I worry about these things? Not really! I've taken classes at parenting and whatnot, so I have at least a small amount of knowledge there, she's past full term, so she should be fine to get outta dodge, I have a childcare provider picked out... so there's really not much to freak out about. But I AM freaked out. Sigh.

Because of this, I'm trying to force myself to do things, to get out and not sit at home and keep stewing in all this restlessness and anxiety. Tonight is Dream Dinners night, so that will be a fun time with hubby to get prepared for the daughter. And we're trying to plan some stuff for this weekend, so it should be full of distraction.

I'm having my appointment and getting "checked" this morning (the doc will see what how effaced I am and if my cervix is dilated, which can foreshadow how far away I am from labor.) I'm crossing my fingers that they tell me I'm either on-time or possibly sooner.

but yeah... you can come any time you want, girl.

38 weeks...

I am 38 weeks preggo as of yesterday and am feeling every minute of it. I now understand why I've heard so many of the pregnant women on my message board start to say, "ok, baby can come ANY DAY it wants, now," after they hit the 38 week mark. There is something about being full term that really puts the desire to get the baby out in your blood.

The first thing that makes my urgency set in is the change in mobility. Especially in the past few weeks, I am feeling so exhausted and immobile. Getting in and out of bed is a chore, all of my joints ache, I am experiencing a lot of pain in my lower abdominals from how low the baby is now and I can't seem to do anything to contribute to the order of our household anymore. I can't do dishes for more than ten minutes without bad back pain, I can't pick up clutter off the floor. I just feel useless. It feels like the only thing I can do is laundry, which I am doing in mass amounts. But even walking around the neighborhood for more than ten minutes makes me tired, grumpy, pained and knocks my self esteem down. And forget dancing. Even yoga is tough at this point, when I work up the esteem to even try. It's depressing.

I'm so lucky that I'm married to an awesome person who helps me out with everything, but sometimes that makes it worse. I feel bad even complaining about my life since he waits on me like a princess lately, doing almost all of the chores and still telling me how pretty I am all the time- and meaning it. Seriously, I won at this life partnter thing. He's hot, he's funny AND he takes on all the domestic duties without guilt tripping me when I'm too big to do anything...

I did accomplish one big thing yesterday, though. I went to the Renaissance Festival yesterday and was able to make it until about 4 p.m. or so! Sure, we had to sit for a bunch of shows and I had to take a lot of breaks, but I made it. And I tried to keep myself in good spirits, in spite of myself. It was so beautiful out, with the fall colors changing and the smell of fall in the air. And it was great to walk around with Tim and amuse ourselves with looking at all the little girls and wondering what our daughter will be like- Will she want to dress up like that little princess over there? Will she be more of a tomboy like that little girl with the sword? Will she be gregarious or shy? Who will she like better, me or Tim? It was also awesome imagining bringing her with us to fest next year and buying he silly baby moccasins.

The other thing that makes me want this baby out is the excitement of seeing her. She's so big right now that when she moves I can see everything, it's like rolling waves in my tummy. It's the coolest thing ever, but it also makes me want to see her so darned badly! I want to know exactly what her face looks like, how big those hands and feet that keep pummeling me are, if her butt is really as big as it feels when she leans on me... it's just so cool. I look around her room, put away her clothes and just keep waiting for her to be here. It's like you have this whole picture that's only waiting for one last element and you can't wait for th eissing piece to be there. Sigh, the anticipation.

So, these things combined make me ready for her to get here. I think the next few weeks will be unbearable.

grrrrrrrrrrr

Dear People-

It is NOT COOL to be around a pregnant lady if you know you're sick. Seriously uncool, in fact. If you know you've got a cold, a fever, the flu, etc. than do your preggos a favor and steer clear.

In case you don't know this, preggos have a weakened immune system. That means we get sick more easily. That means that if you hang around us for any extended period of time there is a good chance we'll get the same ill crap that you have.

In the early stages of pregnancy, docs can be kind of funny about this b/c the fetus is undergoing such great developmental changes that having a fever can cause all sorts of issues. Later on in pregnancy, it just makes you feel like crap when you're already swollen, huge and grumpy. So just don't do it.

This message inspired by me finding out that the temp I was training was sick her first day here, hanging around me for close to a full eight hours. Now, as I write this post, I am feeling sick and gross. Grrrrr... thanks a lot gal!

To her credit, she says she only noticed it near the end of the day. But still! I told her that she should have let me know as soon as she felt ill so I could send her home. Now, I've got the sickness.

The end..

Brooke

Final Preparations

As of Saturday, I am full term. That means that our daughterling can come anytime in the next few weeks and she'd be fine to survive outside the womb. Her body is fully developed and is now just refining itself- putting on more fat, practicing breathing, using her little muscles for kicking and punching, etc. It's really cool to know that we've made this milestone, though it also puts the preparation instinct into full swing.

One of the biggest things is out of the way, though! Tim's parents were so kind and took us to get our travel system (stroller, car seat, car units for strapping in the seat.) I was getting so worried about not having this in time, because they do not let you out of the hospital without the car seat and since we're getting close here, I've been worried about going into labor without one. Anyways, they were dears and went with us to Babies R Us yesterday and were generous enough to buy it for us. Seriously alleviated more stress.

The other thing we did yesterday was put up our vinyl graphics in the nursery. I know it sounds silly and unnecessary, but I really wanted to do some cool decorating in her room. We already purchased an awesome bird-on-a-leaf graphic that goes behind the crib, so I had this thought about making her room a kind of cool play environment. So I designed some fluffly rain clouds and had them made by one of the vendors I use at work. Tim, being the ultimate husband, installed them yesterday and the room looks SO COOL. The only things we have left to do are install a shelf for books/nursing supplies and we're set!

Of course, one of the most important things I have to do is still undone- packing the hospital bag. I have to remember to bring my work bag home and pack it full of stuff- props/tools for natural birth, our birth "plan," a night gown/clothes to wear after birth, going home clothes/blanket for the baby, snacks, take out menus for local places near the hospital, a book each for Tim and I... basically it's like packing for a weekend trip. Most people do this at 30 weeks or so, but I'm the ultimate procrastinator. Sigh... I know what I'm up to tonight!

Ok, time to go to work! Signing off!

uh oh... we're in trouble!

I went to the doctor yesterday for my weekly appointment. These consist of me demonstrating all of my amazing preggo tricks- peeing on command, stepping on a scale triumphantly ignoring my weight gain, sitting for blood pressure tests. All pretty standard.

Then, the doc "weighed" the baby. This is done by pressing on my belly and feeling how much room the baby takes up and using Jedi skills to interpret how big the child is. He did his poking around, then says to me...

doc: so, how big were you when you were born, again?
me: seven pounds, four ounces.
doc: hmmm... what about your sister? (my doc delivered me/is a family friend, so he's known Kim for a long time, too)
me: she was over nine pounds.
doc: well. I'll tell you, she's weighing in the early 7s right now and you still have a bit to go.
me: what?
doc: yeah, seven pounds. Now, I don't know anything, but if I did... I'd wager that she's going to be in the high 8s by the time she shows up.
me: whoa. well, I'm a big girl, so I don't think that should be a problem.
doc: brooke, you can play on my team any day.

So yes, our gal is big. She is big and strong and is gonna be one big baby when she gets here. Which rules...

Although... I think I need to invest in more 3-6 month clothing :)