from BabyCenter: Week 7

Your pregnancy: 7 weeks


How your baby's growing:
The big news this week: Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs — although they look more like paddles at this point than the tiny, pudgy extremities you're daydreaming about holding and tickling. Technically, your baby is still considered an embryo and has something of a small tail, which is an extension of her tailbone. The tail will disappear within a few weeks, but that's the only thing getting smaller. Your baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of a blueberry.

If you could see inside your womb, you'd spot eyelid folds partially covering her peepers, which already have some color, as well as the tip of her nose and tiny veins beneath parchment-thin skin. Both hemispheres of your baby's brain are growing, and her liver is churning out red blood cells until her bone marrow forms and takes over this role. She also has an appendix and a pancreas, which will eventually produce the hormone insulin to aid in digestion. A loop in your baby's growing intestines is bulging into her umbilical cord, which now has distinct blood vessels to carry oxygen and nutrients to and from her tiny body.

See what's going on in your uterus this week.

Note: Every baby develops a little differently — even in the womb. Our information is designed to give you a general idea of your baby's development.

How your life's changing:
Your uterus has doubled in size in the past five weeks, and eating may feel like a chore — or worse — thanks to morning sickness, which by now may be in full swing. (If you're feeling fine, don't worry — you're lucky!)

You may need to pee more than usual, too, thanks to your increasing blood volume and the extra fluid being processed through your kidneys. (By now, you already have about 10 percent more blood than you did before you were pregnant. And by the end of your pregnancy, you'll have 40 to 45 percent more blood running through your veins to meet the demands of your full-term baby.) As your uterus grows, pressure on your bladder will send you to the bathroom as well.

About half of the women who feel nauseated during the first trimester will find complete relief by about 14 weeks. For most of the rest, it'll take another month or so for the queasiness to ease up. It's unlikely, though, that the need to pee more than usual will ease up. In fact, research shows that both the frequency and volume of urine tends to increase over the course of pregnancy.

at home births?

Now, I know that my opinion is purely formed on the fact that I am the daughter of a doctor, a health care administrator AND I currently work for a hospital. However, I am also a big hippy and revel in anything that is natural, pure and eco-friendly.

But, that being said... I cannot for the LIFE of me understand at-home birthing BY YOURSELF. Yup. Not WITH a midwife/nurse practitioner. BY YOURSELF. As in, all by your lonesome, maybe plus significant other, gettin' down, hoping you know what the hell you're doing, cutting the cord yourself, praying it's not a breech birth kind of thing.

This rant was started by a gal posting on Tribe.net about how she's scared about her plans to home birth her first baby by herself. She started by stating how, as she's read and researched (not sure the hell where) about the dangers of hospital birthing and how it breeds a state of fear in women, she cannot imagine doing anything BUT birthing her own baby at home, the natural way. However, she's scared of being in an emergency situation, having the baby die, bleeding to death, etc. at home. So, she asked for opinions/guidance.

I'm holding back answering her, because I think I would sound coarse or judgmental, because I really am boggled by this whole thing. OF COURSE you're scared of all those things, because you're greatly increasing the risk of all of them by doing this yourself. Doctors, for the most part, want you to be healthy. At the very least, it's because they make money, maintain their career and receive more clients the better they are. But also at best they're an individual with YEARS of training in both clinical and scholarly settings who are much more capable of dealing with traumas and emergencies than we laymen are. Also, at a hospital you possess not only your OB/GYN and his staff of nurses, but a world of other specialists who can aid your doctor if the worst happens. Instead, you are trusting this very trying process to yourself and whatever knowledge you may have about delivering babies (which I sure don't have a lot of). This is just CUH-RAZEE!

Now, I can understand at-home births WITH a midwife and/or doula. Then you have someone with experience to help you and guide you through your birthing process. But to go it alone?


I am planning on having my child at my hospital because I really trust the doctors, nurses and staff here. I may even have a doula, if I can save up for it. It would be NICE... but I dunno if I can swing the $750 total. I couldn't personally see myself going it alone.

Yes, every woman is master of her own body. And this girl has the right to do what she wishes... BUT to go it alone? Put herself in a really risky position? That just seems foolish to me.

reeving up my bidness?

I am a totally over-preparer when it comes to life. I want to cover all of my bases and make sure that every option is open to me. Though this can lead to a stressful life, I ultimately think it's not a bad thing to try to consider all of your options.

I have decided that one of my goals is to FINALLY finish perfecting my design website and starting to put myself out there for more freelance work. Mostly because I have no idea how much child care costs and, frankly, I'm a considering that it MAY be more economically sound for me to try to build up my business and, if it takes off enough, have the possibility of working from home once the larvae makes its appearance.

Now, that said, I love my job. Really. But I've never been a mom and, if you haven't already noticed, I'm a bit nervous about balancing everything out. So, part of me figures it can't hurt to build up my business in the next 6 months or so just to see where it goes. Then, if for some nice act of fate it's taking off, then I have my answer. If not, I have a bit extra money in the kip for baby stuff.

The odd thing is that as I was contemplating this idea on my ride home, I heard a beep on my cell phone. I had accidentally left it in the car all day yesterday and the tell-tale beep was letting me know I had a message. Turns out it's one of my client's daughters on the phone. She wants me to design her logo/identity materials for her new company. I took that as an odd sign that it's at least time for me to TRY to make this thing happen.

SO, dear friends... if you have anyone looking for design skills, let me know! My first plan is to finally finish three websites I've been commissioned to do a LONG while back for fellow dancers, working on the new logo job, looking into a co-worker's design needs for their business and, in the meantime, getting my google ADwords on.

Let's see if this thing works...

Really Cute Clothes...sigh

And now, a parade of really cute maternity clothes I'd love to rock out when I have a huge belly:


Treehouse 3/4 length sleeve top



Gauze Octopus Top


Cute Disco Belly Top




Another tee by Disco Belly





And, of course, ANYTHING by RockstarMoms


Sigh.. must remember not to spend all our dough. Babies cost some moolah, I tell ya! But it's just all so cute and sassy... making a wishlist!

mmmmmm butter

Being knocked-up means never having to feel bad for eating as many damned butter croissants as you wish.

I seriously can't get enough of these things... though I'm limiting myself to only one per day. But really, I could eat like 20.

mmmmmmmmm 20.


On a healthier note, I went to the gym for a half hour today. I did the elliptical machine on the "Cross Country" setting, for whatever that means. It actually did me a world of good to get off my ass and do some exercise. I'm feeling much more alert and less stressed. Work has been insane, though I'm finally getting the hang of how much work I can send my freelancer, so that's great.

Man, though... I could really use this weekend right about now.

Telling Work

I'm so nervous about telling my job. Mostly, because I know how essential my position is here (I'm the only designer, besides the web designer) and I'm worried about upsetting my boss (who rules) and stressing her out. I know that's lame. But there, I said it.

What's really hard for me is the whole being-the-breadwinner thing. Since I make a bit more than Tim, it's a bit frightening to think of what we'll do financially when I take maternity leave. The one good thing about my job is that you technically get four months leave. Month one, you use your CLB (Combined Leave Benefits) and get all of your salary for one month. maternity leave doesn't kick in until one month after you go, so the issue is that if you don't have CLB, you're screwed in the first month. However, months 2-4 you get 60% of your pay.

My issue is the conflict between wanting to be home as much as I can with the realization that we probably can't swing things for too long on only 60% of my salary. Sadly, Tim doesn't get paternity leave, so that's out of the question.

It's hard. I'm a real career girl, but I'm finding myself dreaming of being a stay at home mum. I know it would drive me crazy, but I just wish I had the option, or even that Tim could have the option.

Damn being an adult with a mortgage!

Take that, suckers!

Now that I'm preg-o, I love the idea that I'm sticking it to The Man by only paying admission for myself to things when I'm REALLY bringing in two people.

Like Body Worlds... I only bought ONE ticket. HAHA!

A Look Inside

This weekend was like cold iced tea on a hot summer day for me. I took it upon myself to try to chill the heck out and stop worrying so much about this whole process. I am working on resolving myself to understanding that what will be, will be. I don't have to be perfect at this right away and I don't have to be walking on eggshells with every little thing I do regarding pregnancy, parenting, the whole bit.

Relaxing means I'm starting to enjoy things a bit more. I'm daydreaming about all the awesome stuff- cute maternity clothes, being a MILF, watching tv or movies and having a baby fall asleep on me or Tim... all the sappy and wonderful moments. My artistic mind keeps looking around our house and trying to imagine one, five, ten years from now and how our furniture will change to accommodate a family, how our rooms will be reorganized, whether we've expanded onto our house or not... it's all looking to the future, now. Mostly, because even though I'm in this present moment, I can't see inside.

Or I couldn't see inside... until Saturday.

Because on Saturday I went to see Body Worlds 2 with Josh and La at the Maryland Science Center. Body Worlds is an amazingly beautiful synergy of compassion, art, science, medicine and community experience. People donate their bodies to Body Worlds for educational and aesthetic purposes, then they are plasticized and put on display. This gives the general public the chance to see the inner workings of the human body in all its magnificence, beyond what textbooks and videos can show you. These bodies are then posed in various activities from skateboarding, reclining, yoga, etc. to illustrate different parts of the body and its functioning.

The best part though, the part I didn't know would be there, was the Human Development Exhibit. This room was closed off from the rest of the exhibit, for those who could not deal with the idea, and consisted of fetuses from several weeks up to just before birth, as well as a woman who died while five months pregnant. The latter was displayed with the child in utero, revealing exactly how the baby is situated in the womb, how the muscles and organs have moved to accompany it and the changes the body goes through in the process. It was amazing. My favorite part, though, was the embryos. They were in small glass tubes labeled with their week. This made me so excited, as got to scuttle over to seven weeks and squee with excitement. "That's what my baby look like right now!"

I can't say how thankful I was that people donated their bodies and those of their children for this. It wasn't morbid, awful or cruel. It was just amazing. I kept finding myself almost to tears with happiness at being able to see just what was going on inside me. I was so reverential to the bodies and amazed at their gift of knowledge, the intimacy they granted the public. It was just awesome.

I've also been reading up on my Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy and From the Hips, which are both amazing books. The Mayo book is very well organized and addresses every concern you may have at various developmental stages in a quick reference system, then contains a more in-depth look later on. I also love how well they translate their medical information for laymen like myself. From the Hips is the greatest companion to this, as it's sassy, witty and funky. It has this no-bullshit way of talking about the wonderful and awful parts of being pregnant, giving birth and parenting in the first years. It also has TONS of direct quotes from women about their different experiences.

Am I still feeling flooded with info? Sure. Am I still daunted and a bit scared? Yeah, I won't lie. But I'm opening up, telling more people and settling into this Mommy idea a bit more readily. I'm also learning to have more faith in myself. Because I think I'm gonna be one kick ass parent.

out out, damned spot!

I had my first instance of spotting today. Talked with the nurse and she says it's totally fine, as long as I don't have lots of blood/severe cramping. Apparently, this is just my womb shedding its old lining because of the new power lining taking over.

*crosses fingers*

eeeeeeeeew

co-worker's steamy, stinky sausage sammitch at lunch was HORRID to behold. I took one whiff and my stomach was starting to contemplate doing somersaults.

I kept staring at it, trying to disguise my horror. ick.

Entry the first: OMG two lines?

Saying you're ready to start on the path to being parents and actually finding out that you ARE going to be parents are two different things. The wistful idea of "ahh... yes. We're ready. Let's start thinking about this." goes right out the window and is replaced with, "OMG WHAT@!!??? Someone is actually going to trust us with growing and rearing a child??!!"

But I'm getting ahead of myself here.

I took the pregnancy test just about a week ago to quell my fears. After going off birth control (to try to ease my migraines... which worked), my period has been a bit erratic. So, I didn't really lose sleep when it was a few days late. Over the past year, a few days here or there is nothing. But then, I crested a week. Nada. Then, at around a week-and-a-half, I went into denial mode. I actually really thought I could feel cramps and whatnot and prepared accordingly. Nada. I came upon two weeks and then decided that I had to take a test just so I could chill out about the whole thing. I got down to it, peed on a stick (which is its own funny act) and walked out of the room, confident that I would return to find a single line and be on my way to cramp city.

Then, I came back in and glanced at the stick. My jaw literally dropped. I looked about the room from side to side, as if I had a captive audience that could say, "oh my, really?" in response to my slack-jawed wonder. My only audience was our cat, Nansi, as Tim was out DJing. Two pink lines. I looked back at the handy guide on the front of the pee stick. Two lines = preg-o. I looked back at the indicator. Two lines. Easy as pie. I was knocked up.

Thus starts the insanity.

I called Tim and, with the thumping of beats in the background, broke the news. He was extremely excited and supportive. He was calm, clear, composed and beaming. I was undulated between being thrilled and terrified. I was in shock. I still kept looking down at the thing. Two lines. Preg-o. Not one- two lines. Goodbye, cramp city. Hello PTA, car seats, field trips, accidentally teaching the kid to curse with my awful driving etiquette, high school proms, high chairs, burp towels, long nights, rearing a young Guitar Hero prodigy and family vacations.

I'm scared that I will suck as a parent. I'm scared because I grew up with less-than-happy circumstances and I am praying for nuture versus nature. I am praying that I have done enough pulling up of the ol' bootstraps from a childhood of pain, loss, confusion and dysfunction to win over and become the best parent I can be. I'm hoping that I have more of my Mom's genetics than my Dad's. I am hoping the kid at least looks back at me and says, "you know, you did OK." I'm happy to graduate with a C+/B-, good try!

Tim I am not worried about. Tim will be the best parent. He will be the overly-prepared Sue type parent (modeled after his Mom. Always juggling things and keeping scatter-brained people like me in line).

Having a kid has already been the most daunting and wonderful thing I've ever experienced. I am crossing my fingers that all goes well. I'm at six weeks now- the "danger zone" in some respects. There are possibilities of miscarriage, but I don't know. For some foolish reason, I really believe this will be just fine.

I was driving home on Monday in the rain and I found myself crying. I was crying for the stress of feeling ready yet un-prepared. I was crying for feeling like I've been promoted to some grand position of Mother overnight and I just don't have the human resources or skill set to deal with it, though DAMN, I'm really flattered to even be offered the title. I was crying to think of how wonderful it will be to play with the larvae in our backyard, teach it to garden and maybe hula-hoop. I was crying because I was scared I might muck this up.

But then, I looked up and I saw a rainbow. And that may be cheesy as crap, but it somehow made me feel like this would all be OK.