Five months is the magic number. I'm convinced now that if you can make it through the first five months of your baby's life sane and relatively happy, you're golden. The first four months are so rough- your baby doesn't really respond to you emotionally, waking up every two hours at night to feed, transitioning back to working (if you so choose), only being able to breastfeed/bottle feed, the fragility of baby learning to use their body in basic ways. It's just tough stuff.
But make it through to five months and something changes. All of a sudden, your baby can have rice cereal and might, if you're lucky enough, sleep more at night. Emotions are easier to read and needs are easier to anticipate. Baby can sit up a bit, amuse themselves and is more durable (that sounds like the worst way to describe a baby, but it's true.)
Yes, life is so much better right now. Sure, the world outside is going to crap, but Story has definitely reached an "easier" plateau. And the increased amount of sleep for her and ourselves has definitely helped. I'm very excited that she can sit up in my lap now and play for most of our time together and is thoroughly enjoying tummy time. And she's a voracious eater, especially when it comes to cereal. She's just a joy and a delight to be around.
The only downside is that she's starting to refuse the breast. Mostly, because the bottle is instant gratification when compared to breastfeeding. Every time I put her on to feed lately she starts complaining, crying and screaming. I have to literally hold her on for a few minutes until my let down starts, then she chills out. Again, I'm finding myself at the edge of giving up breastfeeding. My supply dipped again (I now can barely get 6 oz after a day of pumping at work) and, with her refusing the breast, I just feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. I'm still going to try to make it to a year, but I'm already proud I've made it to six months. It's already surpassing my own mother's breastfeeding record, so that makes me feel good. I'm hoping this is a phase Story is going through and that we'll be back to enjoyable feeding again soon.
On that note, the funniest thing has happened. Story has begun to recognize what milk looks like. Whenever Tim or I have a glass of milk and she sees it, she instantly starts grunting and thrusts her arms out to "beg" for it. It's really cute and makes me proud of how smart she is. On the other hand, it's dangerous to have a glass of milk anywhere near her, since she automatically things it's for her.
