First off, thanks Rachel for the kind comment about my honesty on this blog. I have found that the honesty that other friends of mine posted in their blogs really helped me to get through some rough spots in the pregnancy and motherhood department, so I'm trying to follow suit. Oh and nice to meet ya via internet.
Now, for the BEST ADVICE I can give to any of my friends who are pregnant or are planning to be pregnant in the future...
Plan on having a c-section.
OK, that sounds crazy. No I don't mean to plan for one like, demand your doctor delivers you via c-section. I know that some women really prefer the idea of a c-section versus vaginal delivery and, honestly, I can't hate on that. I respect every woman's right to do whatever they'd like with their own bodies, period.
But what I mean is that you should research what c-sections involve, know the process behind them and be aware of the risks and recovery time.
I can honestly say that I have been so ill-prepared and kicking myself with my body and the whole c-section thing. I had planned on having a totally natural birth, no drugs no nothing and even went so far as to delay going to the hospital to ensure as little interventions as is possible (note: for those of you going WHA??? to this, it is suggested that you wait until your contractions are approx 3 minutes apart or so before heading to the hospital if you want to have a natural birth. This ensures that you'll be laboring in the hospital less and have less chances to 'accidentally' say yes to meds during a bad contraction... but I digress.) The thing is, I was so anti-intervention birth that I did very little studying up on them. Meaning, I was completely in shock and ill-prepared, both mentally and physically, to deal with a c-section.
So, how can you prepare?
First off, go read up on them. I HIGHLY suggest reading the Mayo Clinic's Guide to Pregnancy, as it has a very good section (which I read after the fact, LOL) on c-section birth. Get a good idea of what they involve, especially the procedure itself and recovery time. Another good thing to note is that if you plan on breastfeeding, understanding the impact of post c-section recovery drugs and different feeding positions to manage pain.
Secondly, and this was a really big one for me... PACK like you're having a c-section. Even if you're one hundred percent sure you're having a vaginal birth, like I was, pack for a three to four day stay in the hospital. This is as simple as making sure you have a couple of nursing bras, a couple of nursing tanks, some toiletries and a good good nightgown or two. I was severly under-packed and found that I had to beg my saint of a mother to buy me a nightgown because I couldn't wear pants with my incision. And honestly, by the second day of wearing it I was a bit ripe. The only regret I have as far as packing was the lack of clothes, because if you do have to have a c-section you'll be so full of IVs, catheters and wearing sad, old lady like underpants/pads that having some nice, fresh clothes will do WONDERS.
Finally, give yourself permission to heal. I've had to relinquish a lot of my mommy duties to ensure I heal properly and it has been tough. At first, I wanted to do so much for Story- I wanted to change her, bathe her, take care of every little need. But I'm lucky I have a husband who knows about my tendency to overlook my own body's needs who laid down the law for me. The hard truth is it takes at least 6 weeks to heal in the first stages of a c-section, then up to a year to fully heal. It's major surgery. I've had a hard time realizing that I will have to be very careful with my dance studies after six weeks, that I am not an invincible wolverine woman. But knowing and accepting that what I'm doing is for the best for my body and, in turn, for my family has definitely helped me a lot mentally.
And that's the end of this session of best advice. Hopefully, none of you who want to have vaginal births will have to go through the wackiness I did. But honestly, be smarter than I was and read up on the alternative. It'll give you piece of mind and managed expectations.
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4 comments:
Good point! I agree with the "be prepared for anything" perspective.
Also, I think that childbirth classes in general are notoriously poor at preparing couples for the recovery, and instead focus mostly on the labor itself. The fact is, the recovery is going to take longer than the labor no matter how you end up delivering, and its impact on your quality of life is significant.
I was in the hospital for 4 days following an intervention-free birth, which was much longer than I expected. I too, did not pack my bag accordingly and spent the entire time in the same outfit. Yuck.
amy-
You have a great point about classes not focusing on recovery. I hadn't thought about how long they spent talking about the stages of labor and how little they spent talking about the weeks past labor, when you're both healing and taking care of a baby.
I wish that classes were more straightforward regarding recovery from both the mother and partner's perspective. I'm sure it would have been great for Tim if one of our teachers had said, "partners... you'll most likely be handling all the chores and cooking, as well as diaper changing, etc. while your wife is healing..." I think it would really have helped me if someone had told me about what my body would be going through after birth as well.
THANK YOU! We too planned on a natural birth at a Birth Center with a midwife, however when contractions started and our MW checked us out we found out the Ike was in serious distress and had an emergency c/s. I was NOT prepared whatsoever. I wish i had at least read up on ALL scenerios and not just the natural part of things
When you come back you can sit out and rest and subject Nora and I to the dance stick.
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