Just got back from the pediatrician and I'm pretty stressed/bummed out. Turns out that Story has not gained a single ounce since last week, which is really troubling. The pediatrician didn't seem to be very worried, but she still asked us to come in next week for a follow-up to make sure she's gaining weight.
This first started out as a worry when we came home from the hospital and she'd lost a pound since birth. It's pretty normal to lose weight, but it was still hard to see she'd lost that much. The doctor suggested it was probably due to my c-section recovery and the percocet I was taking. She told me that I should try to stop taking it, which I did follow for a few days. Within that time, Story gained four ounces and seemed to be on the right track. However, it was at the sacrifice of finding myself in so much pain that I could barely walk. So, I started taking it again, deciding that being able to sleep and walk was important for taking care of Story.
I have to admit though that now I'm feeling terrible about Story's lack of weight gain. I know, if the pediatrician isn't really worried, it's probably fine. But still, I feel so bad. I definitely notice the difference in the two days since I've stopped taking the percocet. Story is much more alert in the daytime, she seems to be feeding better (before she'd fall asleep while feeding and I'd constantly have to wake her up... it still happens now but not as often), and she's been responding well to on-demand feeding. So, hopefully her weight will go up.
It just makes me feel like a failure to not have her gaining weight back. I feel like feeding her is my number one job right now, so it sucks that she's not climbing back up steadily. I kind of blame myself for not being tough enough to have stopped taking the percocet the first time around, but I know that's silly. Still, I feel like our society makes breastfeeding such a "natural" thing that not doing so well at it makes women feel like there's something wrong with them, like me.
I think the only thing I can do is try to remain positive and focus on keeping up our feeding routine. If we go back next week and she's not doing better, then it will probably come down to formula supplementing/pumping to supplement. Cross your fingers for us!
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4 comments:
Don't blame yourself. Many things will happen to Story over her life and as long as you are trying your damnedest to be the best parent you can be it is okay.
I think the whole breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world party line is incredibly damaging to women. The way women who cannot, or don't want to, breastfeed are looked down upon makes me want to scream. In the 21st century we are lucky to have the technology and choices to breastfeed or not, and every parent should be supported in their choices.
I am going through a lot of those same issues with BFing, check out my blog if you want. It's hard feeling like a failure, but i keep repeating what my pedi said, formula fed babies are jsut as happy as breast fed babies.
Ibfloridagirl (the bump) GL!
Breastfeeding is hard. Period. People who say it's easy are big fat liars!!! And I have to agree wholeheartedly with Amy's comment above about the "most natural thing in the world" party line being damaging to women. I had a lot of struggles with breastfeeding too, but for different reasons. That said, after 8 weeks, it did become very, very easy, almost overnight. I know it can become easy for you too, with time and some adjustments.
Here are my recommendations. Take them or leave them, I'm just gonna throw some ideas out there.
1) Is it possible to switch to a different type of pain medication? Would an ibuprofen + acetaminophen combo put a dent in the pain, or do you need something stronger? If you really need to stay on the percocet though, definitely do it.
2) Women build their milk supply during the first month postpartum. This occurs by frequently draining the breasts; supply is also built with the aid of the hormones present in the early postpartum period. By the end of that first month or so, increasing milk supply is more difficult b/c of hormonal changes (but not totally impossible). If you skip feedings and opt for formula, be sure that for each bottle-feeding you are also pumping so that you can keep your supply up. If you formula feed but do not also drain your breasts, your supply will diminish. I know several others who went down this path and ended up not producing enough milk b/c they didn't pump; and they ended up switching to formula altogether when they really only intended to formula feed on occasion. A well-drained breast is a milk-producing breast!
3) I know the books all say that breastfed babies feed every 2-3 hours, but in my experience, and according to others I've talked to, newborns eat a lot more often than that. If you opt to stay on the percocet, can you wake her more frequently for feedings---say every hour during the day? I know that sounds excessive, but my experience was frequent, round-the-clock eating in those early weeks. I jotted down the times that H was feeding at one point and blogged about it: http://baby.founddrama.net/2008/07/hungry-or-just-famished/
Anyway, I think you are doing great and are juggling a lot of things. You will come through this, and no matter what you decide, Story will do great and love you and Tim to pieces. Lots of hugs!
Amy is right. Breastfeeding is hard. You are doing your best for her, Brooke. Story is healthy and beautiful. You are doing really, really well.
Breastfeeding was hard for me, too, and it took maybe a month or so before I really felt that Sarai and I had found the groove. I wound up nursing her for a year. You can do this. Needing support isn't a bad thing. Feel free to call on me if you need anything.
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