well, it's official

I will have to start supplementing Story with formula in the next few days while she's at daycare. I'm just not getting enough out of my pumping sessions and her stash has dwindled down to a two-day supply. Figuring that it's currently taking me 3-4 days worth of pumping to get two 8oz bottles for her daycare, my time is pretty much up.

I'm still going to continue to pump all day at work and only breastfeed her when she's at home, in hopes of getting my supply back up. Hopefully, I'll be able to increase my yield enough that she can be taken off formula in the next few weeks (crosses fingers). I was pretty down about this yesterday, as I tried so hard all weekend to pump and store enough milk, but my yield is dropping again (which I really think is due to her going through a growth spurt- she's stopped sleeping through the night and is feeding all the time again), so I barely got 8 oz the whole weekend :(.

I did some meditating on this yesterday and I've come to terms with it. Let me say that I really don't have a problem with formula feeding, though I know it seems different from ready my frantic posts in this blog. I seriously have no issues with it. It's just that I set myself a goal to only breastfeed Story and, because I'm both an over-achiever and sore loser, it's been really hard for me to back down. I feel like I'm failing Story, Tim and myself by just not getting enough milk to feed her at daycare. I know it's not my fault, that a lot of elements led to this eventuality. But in the end I have to do what's best for Story and my sanity, so that means breaking out the formula we got for free at the hospital (what a racket) and supplementing as long as is necessary.

Thanks to all of you for your support in this crazy mess. I really appreciate it.